Boy George Provokes Prime Minister
"Where's Iceland's cut?"
The Church of St. Charalambos in Cyprus is very pleased with Boy George. He returned to the church an icon of Christ which the singer bought from a London art dealer in 1985 without knowing its origin (it had been taken after the 1974 Turkish invasion.)
"So that's good news for Cyprus," said Prime Minister Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, "but what about Iceland? What's in it for us?"
"So that's good news for Cyprus," said Prime Minister Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, "but what about Iceland? What's in it for us?"
After hearing the news, Sigurðardóttir cancelled an economic summit with British leaders and organized a strategy session with her closest advisors. "We're Lutherans," she told the rag tag group of yes men, flight attendants, and members of a women's fishing collective. "Certainly Boy George must have taken some sort of church relic during a stop in Reykjavik on a Culture Club tour in the 80s. A full-scale crucifix? I think that would be lovely if he returned something like that to us."
Sigurðardóttir's inner circle, however, claims she has been fixated on the flamboyant star ever since he became friendly with Rosie O'Donnell when they collaborated on the cutting-edge musical Taboo. During a weekly Texas Hold 'Em game night, friends were stunned when Sigurðardóttir threw down her cards and began to rant. "I'm a lesbian too. So why can't I have a colorful BFF like Rosie has? Why won't Boy George hang out with me in trendy coffee shops, or lend me his clothes? I'm a world leader. What does Rosie do? She hasn't hosted The View in a long time, although God knows we all miss her."
The rejection is especially brutal considering Sigurðardóttir's support during Boy George's recent stint in prison after being convicted of falsely imprisoning a Norwegian male escort, who claimed the singer had manacled him to a wall and whipped him.
"I understand his frustration. I get upset with Norway too. But if we could just go shopping together. Go out for drinks and mock people. We could blow off some steam. Isn't that healthy? Isn't that what friends do?"
"I understand his frustration. I get upset with Norway too. But if we could just go shopping together. Go out for drinks and mock people. We could blow off some steam. Isn't that healthy? Isn't that what friends do?"